Recovering from a Chicago Heartbreak

Hi B&B fam – it’s been too long (don’t worry I have a catch up post coming at you this week!). One thing in particular that’s had it’s highs and lows the last two months is my running. 


As you know – Louise and I ran the Chicago marathon – and it broke my heart in a way that a race hasn’t before. I think for the first time I really believed in myself in the marathon distance – started off running the race I was meant to – and then due to a few different circumstances I got sick at mile 17. Those next 9 miles were full of tears and I was in full on survival mode. I didn’t realize what an impact it would have on me until I arrived home. I didn’t want to run – in fact I wanted to do anything but run. I had the NYC marathon in 4 short weeks so I squeezed in a couple runs thanks to my Run Club peeps but my heart wasn’t there. I still ran the NYC marathon – honored to pace my dear friend Michele through the first half and then having fun the second half while hugging my friends, high-fiving the crowd, and setting a surprising course PR.


However, I knew it was time for a reset. I gave myself two full weeks “in retirement”. I didn’t workout at all – I focused purely on my personal life and I began my move to NYC (surprise if you didn’t know!! I now live on the UES!!!!!!!). My heart just wasn’t there and I needed some time. This is one of the reasons we took a holiday hiatus from Run Club. I needed a break from running.

Once I settled in, I was able to turn my attention back to my fitness and one thing I knew is that I had to find the fun in running again. My biggest step to achieving that – I ditched my Garmin. I couldn’t run for miles, or splits, or PRs, or speed – I needed to run for ME. I needed to run to feel my heart beat, to allow my feet to carry me over the pavement without expectation, and to take in the sights and sounds of my new life. 


It’s been a month since the NYC marathon and I’m getting the itch again. I’ve explored new places with friends, I’ve found solitude along the East River at night, and I’ve enjoyed miles with my fiancé. My point – never be afraid to take a step back. As they always say distance makes the heart grow fonder – and I have to say – I’m falling in love all over again.

Xo, Pam

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